Hallelujah!! Earlier today, President Donald Trump and Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, announced that they have thrown out the thorn of every parent’s existence, Common Core!
In an early-morning tweet session, President Trump was perplexed by a math puzzle one of his biggest supporters sent to him in a fit of rage. “Tell me how I’m supposed to help my boy, TJ, learn any algebra with these Japanese number manipulations?!” tweeted Theo
Trump, a graduate of an Ivy League college of mathematics, viewed the video about doing multiplication with a crisscross method and concluded this was indeed a travesty and must be ended. White House aides were awoken to Trump yelling to secret service from inside the west garden’s bathroom, demanding Betsy DeVos be brought at once, despite the early hour of 4:12 am.
Upon her arrival, her and Trump had a passionate discussion through the bathroom door and she conceded his point that the vast majority of American’s don’t understand what common core is. DeVos attempted to explain that common core is merely a unifying method of criteria and not a teaching method, but Trump was not interested in her womansplaining.
At promptly 4:43 am, DeVos made an announcement via
So when your kid asks you to explain how to find the value of y, you should make sure to contact your local school system and demand that your child no longer learn anymore of that common core crap! It’s time to make American Education Great Again!