San Diego Authorities pulled over a tandem-rigged semi for suspicion to distribute a banned substance. When the SWAT team opened the trailers they expected to see a massive shipment of plastic straws. Much to their relief they instead found thousands of illegal immigrants.

Tragically the number one cause of death in California is the unsafe and unpredictable plastic straw.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Police Chief Shelley Zimmerman addresses the press after the plastic straw scare.

“One of the most potentially tragic, yet satisfying moments of my career”, said Shelley Zimmerman, San Diego’s chief of police, in a statement. She then said very flatly “plastic straws are not welcome in this city.” She has mentioned time and time again that turtles are wonderful, delicate creatures despite their hard outer shells. They don’t deserve to have straws stuck in their noses.

Click Play to watch a turtle get its face de-strawed by a scientist.
WARNING, this will make your eyes water.

The driver of the truck, identified as California State Senator Kevin de León, was let go with a warning. This isn’t his first time getting into it with law enforcement. He has also given plastic bags to toddlers on two separate occasions.

This is a developing story and we will update it as we hear more “news.”

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Hugh Parsons is a retired brick layer / mason and has had it with all the liberal garbage out there! He hates fact-checkers that tend to ruin the party he brings. His stories fit the far-right narrative so well that you may have to ask, is this really good or even real at all?

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